Thoughts on Life and Change

You know how you had something planned in your head, and each detail was perfect? With all your t's crossed and your i's dotted, nothing could possibly go wrong... right? But by some seemingly impossible chance, your perfect plan didn't go as imagined. It's as if the end of the world has come. Here's the thing, life happens. And that's okay. I still have a lot of learning to do, but if there's one thing I have learned in my ripe age of 16 years, it's that perfection is not always perfect. Life gets in the way, and it's not the end of the world. People change, friends come and go, mistakes are made, plans are changed, the list can go on, and on, and on. I've been thinking about this quite a lot lately. I'm trying to find ways I can cope with the with both the changes happening around me and the imperfections that come with life. I'm not always great at staying calm on the inside, and I wish I could be better about that. High school is kind of, okay, really filled with changes. It's crazy how much goes on around me. I'm trying to learn that I don't need to know every detail of my friends' lives. I can still be great friends with a person if I don't know who called them in the last day, why they're mad, or why they like a boy. I'm hoping I can just let my brain relax, instead of panic. I'm hoping my stomach won't do that little flip when one of my friends says they like someone. After all, my friends don't belong to me. With the new year, I'm hoping for more balance, less worrying, being more accepting, being less clingy, and maybe, if it ever comes around, being less of a perfectionist. I'm trying to learn that change can be good, sometimes scary, but good. Life is too short to be anxious about the silly stuff. I say that with myself in mind, because I know it will make life easier for me and the people around me. There's lots of room for improvement. Sometimes, you just have to take a few steps back to go one step forward. Those few steps back give insight and knowledge, and a clear head to look at the big picture. As we go through life, it's sort of like an oil painting. In the present, the paint just seems like oddly mixed globs of color full of ugly mistakes. But when we finish the painting called life, the ugly mistakes and oddly mixed globs of color make a beautiful mural. A mural that tells a story of sadness, pain, pure joy, confusion, and complete beauty. It has rolling hills in the background and very distant mountains. There is a gorgeous sunset, outlined by towering trees and crashing waves of the ocean that's full of life. Maybe there's a beach, full of polished shells, the remnant of a home once used by a tiny but complex form of life. Suddenly, the mistakes that were so awful aren't anymore. Together, they create a breathtaking image, full of meaning. And yet, the awe-inspiring mural doesn't tell half the story. In the end, the full meaning of life lies within your heart.