Lately I have experience the most arguable downfall of spring... lack of motivation. It's technically not even spring, either. There's still 4 more days of winter. Aside from the technicalities of it all, I seriously have lacked a large amount of motivation. Spring sports started two almost three weeks ago, which means I have a 2 hour chunk taken right out of my afternoon from going to practice. The first week was brutal, since I really didn't run pre-season. Like, at all. I'm pretty much the slowest person on the team. That's not me fishing for compliments or anything of that nature, I'm just super slow. Time-wise, I'm managing with my homework, but I just don't want to do it. That's not too out of the ordinary for me because I really do dread homework all school year long. Here's the thing, I can get up and finish it even if I don't want to. Yet, I can't even do that. I don't think I've completed one math assignment this unit and I'm not even bad at math. Really, I'm pretty good. We started Macbeth in English a few weeks ago, and believe me, I think I set my personal record on procrastination. Seriously, it could be put as my profession. It wouldn't be as bad as it is, except I'm in an honors class, so honors work is expected. I really don't feel like analyzing Lady Macbeth's sociopathic mind. I was extra thrilled when we were given a project that's so large scale, it is due after spring break in April. The silver lining? I could be in a group... au contraire. I ended up alone, mainly due to the fact all my friends are in a different class period. But at least this thing has time to be done. And my friend who took the class last year has offered to help me. History isn't really hard for me either. I actually find it quite interesting. But when we got a project assigned, I was surprisingly disappointed. At least this time I had a partner. The things we were given as assignments in the class weren't hard. We even had time for them in class. But I ended up turning both of the assignments in late, which is super unusual. Seriously, I have only turned one other thing in late. And that was at the beginning of the school year. Science... I'm in the easiest class at the school, I think. I've surprisingly okay on the homework, especially considering I turn things in late regularly in that class and I've turned hardly anything in late. I guess that's a positive. I won't go on and on about all the schoolwork I don't want to do. I don't want this to be a pity post. I think you've gotten the idea of how lacking I was (and am) of motivation. The fact that we've been selling Girl Scout cookies the past couple weeks might be a contributor. Site sales aren't exactly my favorite, but I got through them too. I only had two, so that helped. Especially considering they were a Friday and Saturday of the same weekend. Probably the worst part was spring forward. Losing an hour of sleep can never do someone good. Especially when they haven't been getting adequate amounts. Ask any high school student, and they will tell you they rarely (probably never) feel rested. All of this at once was enough to make me more than a little bit overwhelmed. I won't mention every specific thing because I don't want to go overkill. But I've probably passed that threshold already. I'm not even a junior or a senior. I'm a sophomore, which means I better find a way to spur my motivation again. I must seem like such a pessimist after writing 2 somewhat positive posts. I guess my goal in writing this is a way to tell myself to buck up. Hopefully, I will be able to find some motivation somewhere. This just goes to show life is full of bumps and turns. For now, I'll take it one step at a time. And if for the first time in math, my grade is below a B+, I'll try to accept it and do what I can to raise it back up. We can't all be superheroes, but sometimes we try too hard to fly like one, run straight into a wall, and flail miserably in the air until we hit the ground. Take note: stepping stones and stumbling blocks are made of the same material. :) I probably have it way better than the next guy. If I need to, I'll use a neck brace to keep my head held up.
P.S. I know, the grammar and wording in this post is super rocky.
